Barrier
by Rei Ume
Summary: For so long I've held this barrier, pushing the people out of my life I care most for in order to protect them from my enemies. From myself. [Ed x Winry] [Chapter 2: Aftertaste]
1. Chapter 1

**Barrier – Chapter 1: Rainy Days**

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_I remember that day; the rain was cascading from the sky. Relentlessly pouring over our heads with no sign of stopping. I remember her face, her salty tears mixing with the rain as it streamed down her porcelain cheeks. Those large, innocent blue eyes staring back at me, both confusion and sadness blended into one emotion._

_"Why don't you ever tell me anymore, Ed?" She had asked, her voice shaky._

_"Because," I started, taking in a breath of air. "I don't want you to get hurt."_

_"Ed, you've always told me before! Why is it any different from now?" She argued. She always had a knack for destroying attempted chivalry towards her._

_"Because it's dangerous, Winry! Can't you see that! Anyone who gets too close to us gets killed! Don't you remember what happened to Hughes!" I retorted furiously. It obviously struck a cord, I could see her cringe at the impact of my words. I watched her, waiting for her reply, as tears wracked her body. She allowed her legs to give out, and she simply sat there on the flooding streets of Central. _

_I was so tempted to reach out to her and comfort her, but I knew I couldn't. It would only make my goodbye that much more painful for her. I had to become cold. Numb. I had to put up a barrier around my heart so nothing could become dear to me anymore. Like nothing important to me had ever existed._

_"Why?" She muttered, cerulean eyes meeting my own amber orbs. I continued looking down at her, never evading her gaze for a moment._

_"Winry," I started, searching for the right words. "I don't want what happened to Hughes and all the others to happen to you. I don't want you getting hurt for my sake. Everything that's happened is my responsibility, and mine alone." I knew she wouldn't talk back; she couldn't in the shaken state she was in. Giving in only slightly to my temptations, I reached out to her face, cupping her cheek with my artificial hand. "I'll come back one day, I promise." I removed my hand from her face, placing it back at my side. "I'm sorry," I muttered, my words barely audible above the sound of the rain. _

_With that, I left her, crying and broken on the muddied streets. There were no words to describe how horrible I felt for it, knowing I had the chance to go back to her now, and not take it. Knowing I could just go back my normal way, giving her one of my toothy grins and simply tell her: 'Just kidding!' _

_No, instead, I simply climbed aboard the train, meeting my brother in our seats. He glanced up at me, armor clinking with the movement._

_"Brother, you're crying." He simply stated._

_"It was raining, Al. That's all." I protested, taking my seat across from him. He sent me a knowing glance, which I had decided to ignore, and instead looked down at my off-white gloves. _

_I looked at right one, pulling it off swiftly, and then touched it with my real hand. It was still warm from her face. Smiling weakly, I looked out the window, making out a blurry figure in the background. It was Winry; I was sure of it. She stared at the train, still shaking with tears that would not stop. Seconds later, the train started up, carrying us away from each other. It was then that I decided what I needed to do. That would be the last time I let anyone close to me. The last time I would let anyone other than Al be in danger. _

_This was what we needed to do. No one else will become involved with me. That way no one will be hurt anymore. From here on in, Edward Elric would only be numb. Numb from emotion, kindness, and love. It was then I locked my heart away, and threw away the keys. My only companion being Al, who was there to remind me of what I needed to do._

_"Winry," I asked absent-mindedly. "Will you wait for me?"_

_Al sent me one questioning look, but shook his head, deciding against asking into it. _

_My barrier was set. I slipped the glove back onto my hand, and took one last glance out the window of the train; preparing for what we had in store._

It was raining again. I had always hated the rain since the day he left me behind. It was raining then, too. Rain filled me with such a longing feeling. I could never just sit through it and study automail like I used to. No, instead, I would stand at the window for as long as I could, staring out hopelessly at the muddied, rolling hills of Rizenbul. I never had the nerve to tell Granny what had happened, but I think somehow she knows. She always knows.

"Winry!" I was jolted out of my thoughts, turning around to face her there.

"G-granny-"

"Winry, enough staring out of the window like that! Either study or go to sleep!" I knew that if I were to go upstairs, I would find myself gazing out the window in my room, and the occasional rumble of thunder would keep me up, making going to sleep out of the question. And in this state, I couldn't study had I wanted to. "Honestly, ever since that one trip to central… Winry. What happened to you there?"

"He left." I muttered simply. "He left me behind…" I could feel a lump welling up in my throat, and choked it back, saying: "Granny, I'm going to go to sleep." I headed upstairs as fast as my feet would carry me.

She had done it; touched upon things in my memories that did not want to be touched. Especially when it was like this outside. The rain reminded me of that. It reminded me of him. I could think clearly about it now, his image engraved into my memory. I plopped down on my back on my bed, the lightning illuminating my room, beams of light bouncing off cast-aside tools and parts. Thinking back at it now…

Was he crying, too? No. I shook my head. No, it was just the rain. Did it even hurt him at all to leave me behind? … Of course it did, I'm his childhood friend!

Friend…

I remember now, he and Al had fought over the silliest things as kids, like who would marry me when they grew up. I had refused the both of them in the end, Ed for being too short. So many fun times together, growing up… It had only been after their mother died that they became more distant from me. Not telling me what they were doing, what they were planning…

Not until they tried to bring back their mom. But even then… Ed was… like a vegetable. It was the military that brought that mischievous sparkle in his eyes back to life. Not me. And I had really tried, too. The military had taken away the two most important people to me once again. The irony was almost laughable.

Was I really that important to him? No, now it's just Al. No one but Al. Al, Al, Al… Not Winry, but Al. He didn't even send me letters anymore. No, he never cared. I was just the mechanic; nothing but.

I should just forget about him. Maybe just move on; finally accept one of the other boy's requests for a date. Nick wasn't so bad; at least he was taller than me, unlike Ed. I had to admit though, aside from his height, Ed was far better built than he was. Much better, and his face was so much more handsome, with a childish side to it only he would let me see. Nick was… well, ordinary. We had nothing in common. But then again, other than growing up together, neither did Ed and I. I had automail, he had alchemy. And Nick was… according to Nelly, rather wild at times. So that made me uncertain. That, and I didn't know what to do, as I still have feelings for Ed. Huh. I guess I'll just wait and see. It's not like Ed's going to come back…

… Is he?

I turned over, pulling some of the covers over me. I'll sleep on it, that's what I'll do.

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NA:

**THIS IS THE OPENING CHAPTER; IT IS MEANT TO BE SHORT. CHAPTERS WILL BE LONGER AS THE FANFICTION PROGRESSES. THANK YOU.**

One of my many fanfiction ideas for FMA. I don't even remember how this one came to me anymore. But, yes. Expect this to be rather angsty as it goes on. ;D

Rei


	2. Aftertaste

Disclaimer: I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist.

**Barrier: Chapter Two - Aftertaste**

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_Central – Train station_

It had been awhile since I had been here last. It was still the same busy city. It still had its cluttered streets, the same weaving alleys. It was just as I remembered it; only it was brighter, sunny. It must have been recovering from that rainfall Al and I had gone through on the train the night before.

I glanced in the direction of the military headquarters, a scowl forming on my face. After all I had been through… All _we_ had been through… They caused more problems for us, if anything. It was all over with now. So many things had to be sacrificed just for my brother's body. I still had my automail after this whole ordeal. It was a bit battered, but still usable.

Wouldn't Winry be pleased?

I had lost my pocket watch along the way, but it didn't matter. I didn't need it now. We finally accomplished what we had wanted to do. Or what I had wanted to do, at least. Al still felt in debt for not getting my body parts back.

I wracked my memory, trying desperately to remember where Glacier had lived with Elysia. I should know this by now; what with all the visits we paid, the time where I had been asked to bring Winry back home, Hughes…

My memories were full of so many things now; the little things like this were simply pushed aside like so many others.

Almost automatically, my legs started moving in the direction of their house. Walking was like an almost unconscious thing for me, as was running. It was just so natural that I didn't even notice when my body acted on its own.

I could tell Al really enjoyed the fact that he had his old body back. He was so fidgety, but not out of anxiousness, but out of the fact that he had a real feeling body again. A body that could feel every movement, connected by real joints, instead of just creaky hinges.

"Brother," I turned to face him. "Are we just going to visit them for a bit and then go back to Rizenbul? Or are we going to stay put here for awhile…?" I shrugged my shoulders, indifferent about the whole situation.

"We'll stay here a little, I guess."

"And after that?" I turned away again, ignoring his question. "Brother?" I continued looking straight ahead, my golden eyes fixed on our destination.

We soon walked through the familiar bar-gates, rapping my knuckles gently against the wooden door. It opened quickly, followed by a giddy little squeal of anticipation from whoever was behind it.

"Big brother!" I looked down, greeted by Elysia's smiling face. How old was she now…? It had been two years since we saw her last, so six? I tried to put on one of my toothy grins for her, and bent down to be eye level with her, patting her on the head.

"Hey, Elysia." I murmured in reply. She giggled again, and looked behind me at Al.

"Big brother, who's he?" She asked innocently.

"Don't you remember? It's my little brother, Al." She shook her head in reply. I sighed, putting my hand over part of my face. "The suit of armor?" She nodded vigorously, rushing past me and going up to Al.

"What was it like being inside that suit of armor? How come you were so much taller back then? How come-" It was just like someone her age; they were always so full of questions. That left Al being rather preoccupied, so I took a step inside the house.

"Glacier, are you there? It's Edward and Alphonse!" I shouted. In response, I heard hurried footsteps from the floor above me. As she descended the stairs, I took into note Glacier had looked the same as she had the last time I saw her, save for a look of tiredness on her face. We weren't the only ones who were tired after all these years.

"Edward! Oh, I'm sorry for not coming down, Elysia must've been down here and-" She cocked her head, looking out the door at the figure with her daughter. "Who's that, Edward?" I scratched my head.

"You remember Al, right?" Her eyes widened in recollection.

"Oh, of course I do! When he isn't wearing that suit of armor, the two of you look so alike!" The fact that I had to lend him some of my spare clothes didn't really help, either…

"Heh, we _are_ brothers, after all…" I turned back to my so called look-alike, watching his overwhelmed expression from being besieged with all of little Elysia's inquiries.

"Elysia, they just got back from their journey. Ask Al all of your questions later, alright?" She formed a pout on her face, but nodded reluctantly and walked over to her mother all the same. "I'm sure they'll love telling you about all their adventures when they're rested."

"Thank you, Glacier." Al bowed instinctively.

"Ah, so are you boys staying anywhere yet?" I shook my head.

"Nah, we just got back and all, so we don't have anything arranged. And your house was the closest to where we were, so…" I sent her a weak smile. "Please?"

"Brother… you really need to think ahead sometimes…" I sent him a quick glare, before turning back to Glacier.

"Yes, yes, I understand. You two look so tired, so you can stay here for as long as you'd like." I sent her another one of my classic grins, while Al behind me simply bowed again. My smiles were almost rusty from lack of use after all this time. She stepped back, ushering Elysia into the house with her, making way for us. "You know the house, so just stay in the living room for now while I get everything ready upstairs." She bent down to look her daughter in the eye. "Now don't wear out our special guests too much." She giggled, pulling Al by the hand towards the living room.

"E-Elysia!" I chuckled slightly to myself before following after them.

* * *

It had been awhile since Winry had last had the chance to concentrate fully on automail without being distracted by her thoughts. But her long think about everything in her life had helped her mind become void of all such thoughts for the time being. So for now, she merely worked, and made up for the studying she could not do the night before. 

Pinako didn't know whether to be happy or worried with her granddaughter's mental state. Winry was one of the brightest girls she knew, what with her impressive knowledge of automail. And she could work on it for days on end without even lifting her head once. But at the same time, the rain had always put a hold on her work, and she went into this almost comatose state. She wouldn't reply to anything until you yelled at her; or snapped her back to reality using force.

It had been like this for awhile now, and Pinako had grown used to it.

She leaned back, forcing most of her weight onto her cane, and simply watched her granddaughter work. She was working on another automail arm design; obviously for Ed. He single-handedly kept them in business in the harder years. It had been so long since he had come last.

Dust had settled on Winry's line of automail, all of which she had created in the time he was gone. Even after trying so many times, she kept studying. She kept trying to perfect it. Whether it was increasing durability, decreasing the weight, or just messing around with the aesthetics of it. She just kept tinkering with the automail.

Pinako walked up to her, standing on tiptoes as an attempt to look at her sketches over her shoulder. Upon seeing what she had done, she promptly whapped her over the head with her pipe.

"Winry, take this more seriously! You need to have only your mechanical skills in mind, not daydreams!" She rubbed the now tender spot on the top of her head through her bandanna, cringing as she did so.

She looked down at her sketch, unaware of her own doodling. She had drawn the automail arm, all right. But her imagination made her continue drawing along the arm, going to a shoulder, and then she had sketched the rest of the body. She stared at it; it was Ed. Just as she remembered him from before he left. She had drawn him with that usual smirk of his on his face; detailing everything to the last wrinkle on his clothing.

"Sorry granny," she murmured, turning to the next page in her sketchbook. She flipped it over so that she would be sketching on the back of her previous page, and began to sketch over the automail through the page. Doodle or not, that had been a fantastic piece of automail she designed.

After she had finished with that, she began to draw it from different views, labeling and disassembling it in her head. It was amazing how hard she could work on something when she had her mind focused solely on it.

When she had finished, she put down her writing utensil, and picked up her sketchbook, admiring her own handiwork.

It was perfect. Every little detail seemed flawless. But even so, knowing how she was, it was obvious she would continue to tinker away with it. She would probably create a test version of it to see how it would fare, and then continue to make adjustments to it.

Sooner or later, it would join her little stash of dust-covered automail in the basement. That was always what happened.

Winry yawned, arching her back and stretching her arms.

'I worked long enough on this.' She decided, backing her chair away from the workbench. She didn't bother to tell Granny that she had finished for the time being, and slid her sketchbook into one of the drawers in her bench. Den's ears pricked up, noticing that Winry was preparing to leave. She followed her out the door, slipping out with her before she got the chance to fully close the door.

Winry looked down at her follower, sighing.

"Fine Den, you can come along." Her tail wagged in anticipation, and followed the girl as she walked along the dirt roads of her home town.

Winry had no idea where she was going; she simply allowed her legs to carry her wherever they pleased. She simply walked. Den whined up at her at occasion, but she ignored it, continuing until she got to her destination.

After awhile, she had noticed that she was walking towards the graveyard. She hadn't been there since Hohenheim had visited.

'How old was he, anyways? He must've been pretty old to mistake me for mom… Maybe Granny's age? But he honestly doesn't look it…' She contemplated.

Winry stopped at her mother's grave, bending her legs until she was around the height of the actual gravestone. She ran her fingers across the cool surface, tracing the words _Sara Rockbell_. It had been so long since she had died. She had only been a child back then. It was always hard to make a child understand death. She had found out the hard way.

Ed and Al had found out too late. Even after their mother had died, they never really accepted it. It was just so simple. _The people who've died stay dead, no matter how badly you want them to come back._

'Come to think of it, Ed had mentioned something about homunculus when mom and dad were killed in the Ishbal war. Created humans. But created humans were the result of human transmutation, which can't be done… But… that one time… how was it possible that I saw Trisha's face on that… monster?' She glanced over her shoulder, gazing at Trisha Elric's grave. 'No, the last time she had been dug up was when Ed and Al tried to revive her… so it isn't possible…' She shook her head in frustration. 'No, that couldn't have been her. I was just imagining things.' She convinced herself.

She sat there in silence for awhile, sitting in the dirt beside Den.

"Long time to no see, mom. It's Winry." She started. "You're still watching over me, aren't you? Then you'd know how I've been as of late. Ever since he left, I can't get Ed off my mind. It distracts me from everything. And the rain, too. It was raining when he left me. So it reminds me of him." She hugged her legs to her chest. "I don't know what's wrong with me. It's been two years; I should just get over it. Find someone else. Even Nelly agrees with me. She doesn't remember Edward as well as I do, since she was really young when we still used to play together." She sighed slowly, standing up. "Well, other than that, I'm doing fine. I miss you, mom. I'll visit again soon." She dusted off her pants, and began walking back to the house.

When she was almost two thirds of the way back to her house, she heard someone calling her. Winry looked over her shoulder to see a familiar brown haired girl.

"Nelly!" She waved back, plastering a smile onto her face. Her bright green eyes were always the first things about the girl that she recognized, aside from her slightly oversized forehead. She took a good look at her friend, and noted that she was wearing a slightly muddied pair of overalls. She must've been helping out in the fields again.

Nelly had remained one of her closest friends over the years, aside from the Elric brothers. She was always there for her, and supported everything that Winry did. She listened to her problems, which had always made Winry feel better to get something off her chest.

Nelly worked her way over to her friend, weaving through all the crops in the field. She climbed over the small, rickety fence, and began to walk casually beside her.

"You don't usually go out too often, Winry. You're usually shut up inside your house working on automail. Where did you go?"

"I was just taking Den for a walk, and we stopped by the graveyard." She put her hands behind her head. "I had a talk with mom when I was there."

"What about?" Nelly queried, cocking her head to the side.

"Ohh, just stuff. You know. Like what's been going on in my head. How I've been doing and all that."

"What about?" She repeated, walking backwards in front of her friend.

"Nelly, you're going to run into something if you keep that up."

"Stop avoiding the question. Something's obviously up. I know you. Now spill."

"Two years ago when I took that trip to central, I met up with Ed there by his request…"

By the time she had finished summing up what had happened, she was already standing in front of the steps of her house again.

"So that's what's been up with you this entire time? Sheesh, you should've told me before. You would've felt better about it, and you know it." She told her mockingly.

"I know, I know…" Winry walked over to the mailbox anxiously, looking for any sign of a letter from Ed. None. "Why should I even bother? He hasn't sent me one in two years…" She mumbled to herself, shutting the flap on the mailbox and walking back over to Nelly.

"So you've just been hung up over some guy who left you two years ago and hasn't sent you any type of communication whatsoever the entire time?" She nodded.

"I… guess."

"Move on, Winry. It's been two years, he's probably forgotten about you!" She winced subtly.

'You didn't have to say it so bluntly…' She thought.

"Anyways, look around you. Most of the guys here have noticed the you behind all the mechanics. If one asks you for a date, I'd say to go for it. What's there to lose? It's not like he's coming back after all this time."

"Guess not..."

"Alright then, I'll see you later!" Nelly stated, beginning to walk backwards out of their property before breaking out into a run for her house.

Winry stumbled back into the house, accepting defeat. Nelly had said it; he's not going to come back. He's probably forgotten all about her.

'I was right,' she thought bitterly. 'I'm just the mechanic, nothing more. If not for the automail attached to his body, I'm sure he'd have forgotten about me completely.'

"Winry, where-" She ignored her grandmother's attempts at getting her attention, and instead headed up to the attic, her room. It was then she heard the thunder starting, and the pitter-patter of the rain against the roof and windows. The ferocity of the downpour only increased, and she merely sat there, watching.

She had given up.

He's not coming back.

"What's up with the rain lately?" She spat, hugging her knees to herself. "I wish it would just leave me alone for good."

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NA: 

I've finally made up my mind; this fanfic shall be told from Ed's POV. When he is not present, as usual, it will be told from the narrator's POV. Also, yeah, I realized I twisted the ending of FMA a bit, but it was for the good of the fic.

Ah, yes. Just in case anyone was wondering, I'll explain the title of the chapter. Aftertaste, or the after effects of everything that's been going on. Simple as that. ;D

In case anyone didn't catch the significance at the last bit where Winry is wishing that the rain would leave her alone, the rain also represents Ed, and she's wishing that she'd forget about him once and for all so that she could move on.

Thank you for all the reviews!

Rei


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